The Wave of Rankness

While sitting in Mass today, I was overcome by a wave of absolute rankness. One minute I was breathing just fine, one whiff later and I was gasping for scent-free O2. I immediately look at Manny. 

"Do you SMELL that?"

"Yes," he says, but his face is guilt-free.

"Was it You?" I ask.

"No, I swear!"

He then asks Gabe, "Gabriel, did you toot?"

His face lights up like a Christmas tree and whispers, "I Tooted, Dadda!!"

Trying to stifle our laughter, we look ahead. There, in front of us, are a wife and husband couple. The husband looks like a nice guy, but the wife had been casting Gabe tiny stares all through Mass when he would make a sound or we'd have to chastise him. The kid is 3; we do what we can. 

(I take pride, however, in knowing he isn't banging cars and/or trains off the pews or coloring with a crayon-smorgasbord. We are teaching him the "pray times" and "sing times" and by far the most important "quiet times"... like when "the people put juice in the cup" as he told me today.)

So back to the couple, the nice-guy-weird-lady couple. I actually witness Gabe's wave of rankness envelop them and they begin marinating. Gross! They both look at one another. She begins to blame it on her husband. 

All we see are his lips mouthing: "I. Didn't. Do. It. I. Swear."

Then we see her: "Yes. You. Did."

It was by far the funniest thing I have seen in a while. (I am, however, quite easily amused.)

So Part Deux of today's entry. 

After he and Gabe got haircuts and I did about 7 loads of laundry at the laundromat, Manny left for a job today and he will be gone until late, late tomorrow night. This is my first solo act since becoming a Mama of Two and I have realized that the best thing to do is keep busy and involve the oldest. That way, I'm not "watching" Gabe, I'm instead "incorporating" Gabe. I didn't read this anywhere, but I know it sounds so wise, right? Perhaps I will include this in "Soggy Waffles (and Sore Boobs)." 

While making tuna casserole with broccoli florets for dinner, Gabe brought in his red chair that he stands on when he helps out in the kitchen. Today, about 20 minutes after Manny walked out the door, Gabe got the bright idea to stick his entire foot, ankle and half of his calf through the back of the chair and got it stuck. "Mommmmmm!!!!!!!"

Rushing over to help, I can't get it out. 

"Ouch, that hurts!" he is screaming. 

"Well I need to get your foot out!" I'm screaming back. 

I call Manny, thinking he may just have to turn around and come to our rescues. But alas, it was an Ikea chair, which means easy to assemble and just as easy to disassemble. I popped off the back of the chair and his foot was free. I'm a hero, in Gabe's eyes anyway.

After dinner, we clean up the kitchen and I decide it's time to use up those two really ripe bananas in the fruit basket that are so ripe no one will eat them and on the verge of rotten. I ask Gabe if he wants to make banana nut muffins with me. 

"Yes!" 

I give him the Pyrex bowl with the two bananas in it and a spoon. "Ok, mash the bananas."

"Smash the bananas?" What's the difference between Mash or Smash anyway? I answer, "Yep, smash away." 

Forgetting to tell him specifically how to "smash" or "mash," he instead starts stirring and doesn't grip the Pyrex bowl... Within 3 seconds the Pyrex spins off the counter top and shatters into a million little pieces. Glass bursts everywhere, from under our feet to the other side of the kitchen and even into the entryway. 

"I'm sorry Mom!!" he is genuinely telling me, over and over. I decide that I can't be mad at him. It was pretty much my fault for sending him on his way to independent banana mashing a little too soon. "It's okay, Gabe." 

I prop him up on the counter and instruct him not to move or touch anything, while I got to work sweeping the floors twice over for safe measure and then Swiffering while I was at it. 

Finally, the banana nut muffins were made, and soon after all of that banana mashing, Gabe got tired and went to bed a little after 7 p.m. Then it was Anna's turn. We just finished our evening bath, evening feed, and now here I am. Both kids sleeping... 

Never boring. What a day.