A Few Words By the Author (ha!)

This used to be "blog central" for me.

It was a place to share my thoughts, the funny happenings of our family, provide a little "online diary" of sorts for family, friends and even the kids when they are older to look back on our anything but ordinary life. (Our EXTRAORDINARY LIFE!)

I loved sharing the milestones the kids were accomplishing and all the latest excitement of Anna sitting up or Gabe having a great report from school. But it hasn't been as such for me for a while. I've liked avoiding the "online diary" because for the past few months I haven't had the excitement of what to report.

For one, and this was a while ago, someone was offended because they were not included exclusively or had a paragraph devoted to them about something wonderful they did for us. I didn't realize feelings would be hurt over a post where the sole subject of the post was our baby and events surrounding her grandiose entrance into the world. Yes, I mention a few people in a few posts, but never has been my intention been to exclude anyone even though I may over-include others for my own sheer insanity of not being able to keep track of everyone. My reason for starting this blog was a way to update everyone on us, not give out accolades for the amazing things so many people have done for us. If I started, I wouldn't be able to stop because there have been so many wonderful things our families have done for us!

Since then, I have asked myself, what is the point of continuing this blog if I must dissect everything I say and how I say it so as to avoid unintentionally hurt feelings?

All "This Stefanie Matters" is is my forum to let readers know how our life is going and share with you the steps that we take everyday as a young family. And when our life isn't going the greatest, I tend to retreat, away from our "online diary", for fear of, well.... Bringing you down.

I don't like reading sad things, as much I don't like writing them.

But we are going through a nervous time right now, a bumpy ride... Spending a few days on the edge of tears and wanting to crawl back in bed. But why do I want to share the reasons? Wouldn't I much rather start a facade that perhaps everything is okay, even if it isn't? It's not so easy for me.

To close, rather abruptly until I find the right words to say, I don't know where the next few weeks will lead us.

In the meantime, I take one step at a time, one day at a time, and I pray for baby Anna, for her amazing big brother Gabriel, and Manny and myself.

St. Therese of Lisieux has always given me comfort in times of trial, and lately I have been repeating this little quote from her: "Be not afraid to tell Jesus that you love Him; even though it be without feeling, this is the way to oblige Him to help you, and carry you like a little child too feeble to walk."

PRAYER TO ST. THERESE

O little St. Theresa of the Child Jesus, who during your short life on earth became a mirror of angelic purity, of love strong as death, and of wholehearted abandonment to God, now that you rejoice in the reward of your virtues, cast a glance of pity on me as I leave all things in your hands. Make my troubles your own - speak a word for me to our Lady Immaculate, whose flower of special love you were - to that Queen of heaven "who smiled on you at the dawn of life." Beg her as the Queen of the heart of Jesus to obtain for me by her powerful intercession, the grace I yearn for so ardently at this moment, and that she join with it a blessing that may strengthen me during life. Defend me at the hour of death, and lead me straight on to a happy eternity. Amen.