Happy New Year!

Masquerading about Stout NYC for New Year's Eve

I've gone from almost 25 posts a month to 20, to 15, to 10, to 5, and last month - 1!! As most of you know, it's been a crazy time for us. I'm thinking about "opening" the blog back up to public, but before I do that I have to peruse through old posts and make sure no too-revealing info is posted on here. Call me paranoid, but whatever. I just feel like my writing is better when I feel it is reaching a bigger audience but I also don't want too much too personal stuff out there. But then I think, how much is too much?

I almost wish I had been writing more through our journey with Anna, because I'd have something to look back on and reflect. To remember those moments, and how each day it seems to get better. Every day is different. Some days are good, others not so much.

We've had such a wonderful trip back to Ohio, and coming back to NY with a house filled with family has been great too. It's going to be quite an adjustment for me on Saturday when the fam has left, and I go to work on Sunday, and Gabe goes back to school on Monday, and Anna's therapies begin on Tuesday. (And to think we have to de-Christmas the house! When?!?!)

For the last two months of 2009, I had no schedule other than ANNA ANNA ANNA!! Doctors, therapies, doctors, therapies, doctors, therapies. (And Baby Anna, when you may read this in 20 years, don't think I'm complaining...)

With Manny filling in at Martha instead of the rigorous full-time and the family-friendly hours of the View coming up, and my workout schedule being set in stone (soft stone, but nevertheless - set in something!), I'm really aiming to get this family back on a schedule. Cooking again, aiming for healthy dishes, at 5 p.m. no matter what the day, and focusing on the good... Rising early, peace of mind, aiming for a weekday Mass and of course Sundays, and finding my way back to peace... I have not been at peace in so long. I feel like my whole balance is off. Slowly, I think, it will all fall back into place.

My attention span has gone awry too... I can't keep my mind on one thing at a time and my conversation is all over the place!! Breathe........

I'm happy to say goodbye to 2009. It's been the hardest year of my life, and I say that with straight-faced honesty. It is a close second to 2005 when I had so many changes in such little time, but I guess it's different when we're searching searching searching for an answer for our Anna and hoping the right one comes along soon.

That's all for this Jan. 1, 2010.

I love you family and friends. I couldn't have made it through '09 without you.