Weighing In...

My weight loss is sucking.

There, I said it.

After hitting the minus 48 pounds mark, I am back up 3 pounds and totally depressed. This is really, really hard. I've always known deep down that I was an emotional eater, but as I learn to grapple with my shortcomings (as few as there are, really... Just Kidding!) and be honest with myself, I am coming to terms and attempting to change.

The week after Anna's baptism, after our family and friends were here and we were surrounded by love and fun and the people who bring out the best in us, I ate like crazy the following days... Lonely, I wanted to "fill up" but the more I ate the less full I felt. So I wanted to eat more.

I wanted to bring this here, to the blog, because if I don't write about it, it's easy to deny it, to throw it out, to slip back into old habits... I ended my 3 years in a weight class I never want to see again. I won't let myself ever see it again. But I don't want to remain in this one either. I want to keep going. Working hard and seeing the results... It did wonders for the way I saw myself again, the way I haven't seen myself in a while. Confident.

So this journey... This hard, butt kicking journey, is going to pick back up the pace not tomorrow, but NOW. I want to reach for a cookie, a slice of pie, a scoop of ice cream, a bite of candy bar... I want everything I shouldn't have. But instead of going for it, instead of indulging the desire like I used to and tell myself "I'll start (the weight-loss) tomorrow" (and there was always tomorrow, but the change never came)... So I've decided that I've got to stop Now. Not tomorrow. Now. And the flatter the tummy gets, the smaller the arms get, the looser the jeans get, that's when I know it's worth it. And me, too. 

In my search for a relatable picture for the topic (and no, that chic isn't me!), I found this website, and thought it was really neat. Check it out if you have the time. 

http://www.cockeyed.com/photos/bodies/heightweight.shtml