We returned to NYC yesterday evening, after an almost-week back home in Ohio to grieve the loss of my Pap Christopher.
Today was the first day in two weeks that if I wasn't home, I was thinking of home, getting almost-hourly updates of his deteriorating condition from my parents and praying non-stop for his comfort of body and peace of heart.
I kept thinking the whole time I was back in NY today that Pap would want me to reestablish a sense of normalcy. I was blessed to have Manny home (he was already scheduled to be off from The View for their "Behind the Scenes" show he taped a week ago and, surprisingly, was on a few times) and when I was tired, I laid down, and when I was inspired to get something done, I did that, too.
It seems as if no matter how much I sleep, it still isn't enough. I am sure that after tonight, tomorrow will be better. It has to be. I have scheduled an early wake-up for myself, an hour-long exercise session, a shower, then getting the kids through their morning routine. Then I have a pile of paperwork and mail to get through, not to mention a hundred e-mails, and a few phone calls. If by noon I don't feel like I have reestablished some sense of normalcy then I keep on keepin' on and trust it will get easier.
But it was nice to have today to relax. To reacquaint myself with our day-to-day here after last Tuesday's flight, Wednesday's planning, Thursday's viewing and memorial service, Friday's commitment ceremony, Saturday's visiting and packing, and Sunday's 10-hour road trip back. And hopefully, tomorrow, and the days following, the hole I feel isn't as deep. The closure I need is a little nearer. And the lessons learned from Pap's legacy - hard work, practicality, loving and giving - I can apply more to my life. He'd be the most happy with that.
2 comments:
can you come out on Thursday evening?? Call me!
Unbelievable past few weeks we have had. Losing two of our beloved family members. Though their memories will live on in us and how Grandma and then Pap left their fingerprints on our lives and have helped shape who we are and how we think. Their presence in our lives was not by mistake or coincidence but a Designed Blessing mastered by the Hand above. I thank my God for them and am a better person because of their influence and am grateful my children knew the love that was given from both of them. They will be missed..but we'll see them again..therefore, take comfort in the peace they now know in a Place with no more tears and no more pain. Love you-
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