An Open Letter To The Subway-Riders of New York

To all of the un-handicapped, physically capable subway riders of the city of New York (but aimed more directly at the men):

Here is what I have to say to you:

I don't care if you are white, black, rich, poor, speak English or don't. Chivalry comes in all shapes, sizes, colors and languages. I have a question. Did your mothers or fathers not teach you to offer your seat to the really old, really pregnant, or really burdened? And if they didn't, did it just never occur to you to get up for someone who could use that seat a little more than you? 

I used to become really annoyed with the young spring chickens (male) with the iPods stuck in their orifices, sitting contently, while they just stared at the overburdened mom with multiple kids, hanging on to their children and the inch of pole they could get their hands on to avoid stumbling with the rocking stop and go of the subway train. 

I found it odd that anytime a woman was offered a seat it was by, in fact, another woman. Is this a reverse effect of feminism? Have we scared the men away from offering us help in any way? 

Today, I rode the N to 59th St., switched to the 6 Downtown, and stood the whole way. Crowded trains. No seats. Mostly occupied by those male chickens. I am a fully capable prego who doesn't "need" to sit to and from my destination. However, the older lady who was struggling with balance would have found pretty helpful if one of you - even a young, capable woman in this instance - offered her a seat. But to no avail. She got off at the 23rd St. stop just as a slightly rounded black woman asked me:

"Would you like this seat?"

I smiled. "No, I am getting off at the next stop, but thank you."

"Ok, have a great day. Oh, and that's a great bag by the way.*" 

(*I had pulled out the most expensive purse in my closet for my solo trip to Manhattan this morning. No Gabe means no overbearing diaper bag means I can wear my expensive bag. This lady probably has no idea but she made my day for two reasons: offering me a seat, and complimenting my bag.) 

Where, then, was this amazing display of courtesy when, on my way back to Astoria, a young man with his 3-year old son got on the train and were both forced to stand while the rest of you capable schmucks just sat there? If I had the seat to offer, I would have. In fact, I  hoped that one of the more masculine chickens would have offered me, the pregnant lady, a seat so that I could have said, "No, thank you though, but he may want it..."

Of course, that opportunity didn't come, because chivalry, or courtesy, or politeness, or whatever you want to call it, is hanging on by a thread in our city's subway system.

I will end with Ghandi's philosophy: "Be the change you want to see in the world".... And get off your lazy butts!