On the Cusp of Boyhood

I may be smiling but I am a bit melancholy.

Manny may be smiling but he is a bit tired.

Gabriel is goofing off because he is a total goofball!

Tonight is Gabriel's last night before he is made into a "real boy." A School Boy. 

Gabe and I just finished packing his lunch in his Thomas the Tank Engine lunch box, which we finally gifted to him from his baby sister Anna. Originally I bought the lunch box as a gift from her to give him a month or so ago, but I waited and now I am glad I did. Seeing his face light up the night before, knowing he was going to school the next day with a cool Thomas lunch box was awesome. He gave Anna a big kiss on the head and then we went to packing it with bunches of goodies I bought at the grocery store on Saturday. 

He isn't exactly a sandwich eater, so I am crossing my fingers that he sees the other kids chowing down on their PB & J and joins in with them. Incase he doesn't, he has apple slices, strawberries, yogurt, a banana and an apple juice box. 

"That will be enough, right?" I ask my mom, who flew in for the occasion and to help me get him off to his first week of school.

"Uh, yeah," she says, giving me that look like, 'You are over-obsessing.' She's right. It's a lunch. 

I can't believe the day has come where we send Gabe off to his first day. Manny is even staying home from work tomorrow to be there for it. This morning at the end of Mass, the priest asked all of the students to stand for a back-to-school year blessing. He said that the blessing was for everyone from the nursery school students to the doctorate dissertation students. I stood up, clinging on to my school boy. I could feel the congregation looking at Gabe with those smiles on their faces, Ooohing and Awwwing over my Nursery School Boy. 

So tonight, I feel so sad! Here he is, about to be leave me for the first time since I went part-time from home over a year and a half ago, and our endless days of park-going, playing, being together all the time, Mommy and Gabe, and he is off to his first big stage of growin' up. 

I had my doubts we wouldn't be ready ("He has to go numbers 1 AND 2 on the potty? He has to WIPE HIS OWN BUTT? Huh??") and I stressed myself out... And here he is: Ready. Challenges overcome. That's my boy. 

Now, as I settle in to being a Mommy who has a kid in school, I feel so old! Here I am, packing his lunch, picking out his school clothes, tucking him into bed... And tomorrow is his first day of school. He'll be all right. I'll... I'll let you know how Manny and I do.